On this week’s Bad Animal Poetry I will be showcasing several lizards who look like they might have radioactive breath of a different sort. Since I am a big ‘Godzilla’ fan and his titular movie, ‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters‘, is already out I thought I would write something to coincide with its release. Although I’m hoping none of these lizards accidentally stumble into a canister of radioactive waste.
Marine Iguana (Amblyrhynchus cristatus)
So my car keys are lost,
They are at the bottom of the ocean,
How did this happen Sea Iguana,
I trusted you on this notion,
We were ready for the concert,
Everything was set in motion.
Is that red algae I see on your lips,
Are you on the seaweed,
This is a serious problem,
I thought you were having a nose bleed,
The show is about to start in an hour,
This is quite a kerfuffle indeed.
Okay this time I drive,
Sea Iguana you must obey,
Put on your seat belt this time,
Ignore what is beyond the bay,
The sea is a dangerous life to live,
Why are you sipping on my nasal spray.
Komodo Dragon (Varanus komodoensis)
You are the coolest,
Komodo Dragon why are you so bad,
Is it because of your awesome tats,
You make the concept of cool a fad,
With those wicked sunglasses,
Clearly you are such a Chad.
There is a treasure trove in your stomach,
I wish to see it one day,
Maybe I’ll see discarded bones,
Or perhaps a workbench that says ‘SLAY,’
Your organs are your home,
Yet you remain a stray.
A bad lizard with no rules to follow,
On your own with a shiny motorcyle,
That I am sure also came from your innards,
Fighting some chump named Carmichael,
The baddest there is,
Yet it is so sweet that you still recycle.
Nile Crocodile (Crocodylus niloticus)
An image to behold,
Nile Crocodile sunbathing,
Getting that pre-summer tan,
People can be scathing,
Discriminating body types,
The only thing they are good at is hating.
Yet here is Nile Crocodile doing her thing,
Not letting the negativity settle in,
She worked hard for her vacation,
No one can remove that grin,
Her confidence is unshakable,
I dare anyone to get under her skin.
She may not snap now,
There will be a time when she will,
I assure no mercy when it happens,
She finds their regretful words a thrill,
That may be problematic to the victims,
Just another cozy vacation in Brazil.