What I Want For ‘Mass Effect’…Including Elcor Bazooka Troops

I don’t know if you people know this, but every time a ‘Mass Effect‘ game came out my inner sci-fi nerd was filled to burst with excitement (and probably something else). The first ‘Mass Effect‘ was literally the only reason I got an Xbox 360, and ever since then my excitement would continue to grow for this series. Like how a teenage schoolgirl got excited over  a new Stephanie Meyer book or the latest pretty boy pecks in some teenage romance movie that featured supernatural creatures.


Even after the enormous controversial ending(s) for ‘Mass Effect 3‘ I still have maintained a soft spot for this series, simply because it merges everything I love. It had larger-than-life conflicts, clever sci-fi writing, old concepts that were made fresh again. Also it got progressively better in terms of gameplay mechanics. Hell even in ‘Mass Effect 3‘ they brought back the upgrades and RPG mechanics that some felt were missing in ‘Mass Effect 2‘. However even with all that, there is always potential to do better.

There is always potential to strap big-ass guns on that Elcor.

So why is Brutuxan suddenly making a selfish list of things he wants from future ‘Mass Effect‘ installments (and is talking in 3rd person)? Well recently, Bioware revealed that they had plans to make another ‘Mass Effect‘ game or possible trilogy while also confirming that they would be using the ‘Frostbite 2’ engine. Executive producer Casey Hudson also asked followers on his Twitter feed about what they want from the next supposedly grand title in the series. This got me thinking about what I really want improved or added into the next game. So let’s jump through this mass relay to find out what this series needs!

MOAR Customization Options

It does seem excessive to add more customization options to a game that has already in-depth customization options to begin with. Even the lights on your armor are customize-able! However it doesn’t hurt to add more variety to gun upgrades, such as color schemes or perhaps the ability to create your own gun from scratch (‘Dead Space 3‘ style). The one thing that could be added to character customization though is the incorporation of height and body width if possible, but it’s really not essential to adjust the weight of the protagonist (unless twinkies make a comeback in the far future). All I’m saying is if I can have a pink armored Shepard, then I want him to match up with my arsenal as well.

Less Focus On The ‘Boobagery’, Uh I Mean, ‘The Imagery’ If You Know What I Mean…

Mass Effect‘ certainly doesn’t lack subtlety in particular aspects of the series. And as much as I love this series, the sexual imagery in this game is certainly one of my biggest complaints. Of course every ‘Mass Effect‘ fan is familiar with Miranda, a very assertive female character who takes charge and cares deeply about the well-being of her sister. But even when faced with personal problems, Miranda gives no shit in comparison to her actual job! And then there’s this…

Who would’ve known ‘dat ass’ would be the start to something special. At least in certain fanboys pants.

And this.

Well clearly that’s the dress code for Asari Matriarchs, duh.

I don’t mind portraying sex scenes when it’s tastefully done, hence why I don’t have a problem with the sex scenes in the game (because making love to blue alien women is fun). However, can we please tone down the sexual imagery so that we can focus more on the serious matters in future installments? Sure I understand that Omega is plagued with poverty left and right, but Miranda can you please wear something less tight and more, um, suitable in public?

I’m not saying you should throw your outfit away, I’m just saying that space boners are a spectres worst nightmare.

Appreciate Yo Companions

One of the things that make me excited for every ‘Mass Effect‘ game, and even most Bioware games, is what the companions are going to say and do. And I believe ‘Mass Effect 3‘ definitely proved that to be very true in terms of allowing the crew to really interact with each other in more than just simply exchanging battle tactics in the middle of gunfire. But with that said, I do want certain companions to have an effect (ha) on certain missions. I mean you’re not going to bring Grunt or Wrex to Tuchanka and have em’ just say, “Hey, that rock has a red glow. That’s cool.”

Secretly Grunts hobby is to collect space minerals.

Non-Linear Level Designs, Exploration, And My Hatred For The Mako

Mass Effect 1‘ sort of peaked when it came to the exploration part, and for good reason too considering how painful it was to drive the Mako.

How the fuck did this happen?!

It was also disappointing when Bioware decided to drop the Hammerhead from ‘Mass Effect 3‘ considering all it needed was a few tweaks to make it a pretty damn good vehicle. Vehicles aren’t exactly a necessity for future ‘Mass Effect‘ games, unless for certain reasons (which I’ll discuss in my final point of this article). However if they decided to bring back the Hammerhead or, *sigh*, the Mako then please do one thing…make each level have a sense of variety. And when I mean by variety, I mean use environments we haven’t been in before, not constant dune landscapes where there was barely anything to do aside from collecting minerals.

In space no one can hear you collect minerals deposits.

Also make the maps smaller, but tighter at the same time. Basically highlight where you can go without a giant arrow pointing to go forward or right.

As for the non-vehicle segments, give us a lot more options on the battlefield rather than forcing us to go down in one singular path. Trust me I had no problem with this in the last two games, but having the ability to either sneak around and take out enemies one by one or possibly hacking a mech to do your bidding is something I think a lot of people would appreciate. Multiple options are always great in a game, so why not incorporate more of them into ‘Mass Effect‘?

Sloth People And More Ideas!

Now that the Shepard arc is done, now is the time to really construct something unique and fresh.

Hanar assassins!

Sure it would be cool to see new races, but what about new planets or a new enemy type we haven’t seen before? Or you could focus more on the spectres this time around, shed some more light about what their operations are like and how exactly they cooperate with each other. Although I think it’s best at the moment to focus on something brand new rather than something that could be explained easily in a book or something. Think outside the box, or the space box in that case.

For The Love Of God, Know What You’re Writing!

I can’t stress enough how much I loathed the original ending to ‘Mass Effect 3‘ (and maybe I’ll explain it in a post sometime soon). So as someone who writes regularly and is a big time ‘Mass Effect‘ fan here’s some advice (because apparently I have a voice now, which is actually not a good idea). When you write a rough draft for a script, you constantly keep fleshing out the script to a point before it’s due date or at least when you’re completely sure it’s ready. I don’t care if that ending was your ‘original vision’, because your original vision was probably poorly written to begin with. Have meetings to discuss the story with other writers, or if you’re not capable of writing something that complex, hand it off to someone else who is. Pure and simple.

The twist was that Shepard was a platypus.

Space Western

Do it, you know you want to. And when I mean ‘Space Western’, I don’t literally mean just put in space sheriffs and space outlaws. I mean just take the overall concept of ‘Mass Effect‘ and merge it with exploration, to where you can build colonies on unique planets and protect them from, I don’t know, space bandits. It’s like ‘Manifest Destiny’, except in space and with Turians (by the way, do not make a drinking game based around when I say ‘space’). Just make the game feel rough and throw in some survival tactics to fill in the requirements for a western type game. Also scale it down, not every story has to be about an ancient race of evil alien machines blowing stuff up.

Sir, may we please borrow a cup of sugar? If you do not comply, then we will eliminate the entire universe AGAIN!

So that’s my list, please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. And definitely let Bioware know, because I’m a selfish person who wants can’t get enough of that space action and Volus foolishness.

Don’t give me that look.


1 Comment

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One response to “What I Want For ‘Mass Effect’…Including Elcor Bazooka Troops

  1. Pingback: November Roundup! Wii U Please Fetch Me My Hatchet? | Brutlounge

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